Today I am going out with the gals for one last Who-Raw with Susan Mammen. We will miss her and Pastor quite terribly. I still have a page to decorate for her tribute scrap book, and I have just over two hours before we head off to Portland.
Through this transition (much like Casey Mammen suggested) I have learned a lot about myself in the eye's of God, he has taught me many things within these last few weeks. I will never understand his logic, or why out of the six billion other people on this planet he chooses to listen to my measly prayers. But the silly thing is that he does, and he not only listens but responds. His latest message which came last night through Abel and I believe Illy's mother, said that many hard times are to come, and many judgements are to be made, but only through him can we make it. We must rely, we must pray, we must depend.
He is our God, why is he often the person we choose to depend the least on?
He told me last night to try harder...I know what I must do to fulfill his wishes, I must pray more, and stop pushing him away by filling my ever growing schedule with more pointless actions. This is what he is teaching me, these are his commands, this is why I must listen, because he is my God, he is my father, he is my savior.