Friday, March 12, 2010

Victoria's Garden

It feels as if I have not blogged in ages. That is probably because I haven't. I haven't had the slightest inclination that I should blog, and with my constantly expanding schedule I have not had the time to sit infront of my computer and annotate my life as of late. I am excited to finally have time and inspiration for this blog, more so the time because I have no concrete focus for this blog. I will but let the keyboard take me along with it's square-shaped wind's desire.
Let's start from where I left off, before that let me pull out the history book because it seems so long ago that I last wrote anything. It is so long ago that I don't eve recall what my last blog was about. Let us see, did I tell you about my internship at the Birthing Center at Willamette? Well I was honored to see a C-section in the early morning and a live birth in the latter part of my day. Yesturday I began my second rotation at the hospital in the ER and saw was seemed to be a million IV's done and lounged around for most of the six hours I was there with the slow inflow of patients and the inactive atmosphere of the ER. The clocked went by slower that it has ever before. I felt as if I was done after two hours and once we hit four I knew they had lost me and my focus. I'm hoping Monday, when I return to finish the last of my twelve hours that I will be able to see more exciting things, and actually leave the ER intrigued and with the feeling of accomplishment, because as of right now both those things are void.
I have recently discovered that my braces do not like hard sprinkles. None of them have broken but the sprinkles get stuck inbetween each and every one of my braces, so after finishing off a bowl of vanilla ice-cream with a topping of sprinkles I am forced to wash my mouth out, swishing until every last sprinkle is unharnessed from the prision guards residing in my mouth, better known as braces.
As of late my confidence has been completley diminished and I've found it hard to cope with that. On Wednesday night one of my good friends Nikki approached me and told me that she has been thinking about my lack of self confidence and things in accordance with that, and she told me that it was a demonic assualt. She gave me much needed advice that proved to be most successful. All of what she said really struck a cord in me but one line (or stanza) in peticular stood out to. She told me that because we are children of God we are like royalty in God's eyes. That we are his bride, that "you are like a princess" she said. That one phrase made me feel like a four year old indulging in one big fairytale. But it was true and I think that's why it made me feel so giddy. When we are little we dress up like fairy's and dance at the ball around our room, arms wound around the giant teddy bear or tiger always with a Mister in front of his name, and we pretend that we are royalty, that some day we would have a dress like Diana's or a garden like Victoria's. And after Nikki left, while praying about this demon and casting it off, I thought about how we are royalty, and someday we will dance in Heaven, twirl in elegant dresses, and pick flowers from the most beautiful garden you have ever seen. That is just one tiny part of Heaven and I can hardly wait.
-Toby K.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Eventful Days, Eventful Mind.

Many things have happened in that last ten days or so. I've been slacking on my updating my blog and I can defentley feel impact it has had on me.
Where do I begin? Well, let's start from the beginning, that seems logical. On Wednesday I walked into the dentist office anxious and perplexed, and walked out sporting a brane new set of sharp, gum cutting braces. My teeth are still sore despite the fact I had them put on almost a week ago.
That Thursday I did a rotation at the Willamette Hospital and was allowed to witness a C-section and a live birth within one six-hour span. I was blown away by how blessed I was to see these two events played out. It was so amazing that no words can describe how I felt after. Later that day I went to a prayer meeting and after about forty minutes of prayer a group of us went over to Abel's house to celebrate his thiry-forth Birthday. We played a game of scrabble and the noise level rose continually as the game advanced on debates of made-up words and correct spellings.
On Friday I went over to the O'halloran's for dinner and fellowship, later to find out that it was Pastor's birthday and as seeing that only a few party goers were aware of this Pastor left with only minor gifts. I do believe he enjoyed it though. Oh, but I did forget to mention that earlier that Friday morning, I entered into another dentist office and left with two teeth extracted. So medicated and oblivious I delighted in sitting in the O'halloran's living room listening to conversations and laughing with friends.
The next morning I awoke bright and early ready for the all day outreach that we had prepared. Prayer met at ten and outreach started at ten-thirty. We had two guerrilla teams come in from Portland and Beaverton. During outreach I didn't pray with anyone, but I did get some refreshing witnessing out of my system. For the latter half of the day I joined the Portland team during outreach and spent a majority of my day with two of there girls, Emma and Sherstan. They were immensly kind and fun to spend time with. The concert, I felt, was phenomenal and the skit I thought went well. I, myself, played the Christian, but I enjoyed it. I think playing the sinner is a harder task than playing the Christian. Daniel said I did good even though I did forget some of the things he wanted me to say, but he said that I still got all the major points across.
The next day, Sunday, came quick but not quick enough. We began revival with Jerry Fussel and it will go on every night through this Wednesday. God has been giving me some revelations latley, but some have come more clearer than others. Well for the most part, none of them have come in too clearly. Maybe what I'm hearing or seeing is truely what God is speaking to me, but because it is not what I've been wanting to hear I've decided to discredit it. My confliction over the past few days has grown stupendously, and my emotions have seemed to override my entire system. My priorities have changed direction, and that has worried me, not the fact that they have changed but how in such a short amount of time they have. I will keep praying and praying, for I know that God's will will be done despite my ever changing mind.
-Toby K.