So this week we are in Revival; can I hear an "Amen"?
This revival is with none other than Steve Bohman. Oh! that man is a riot, he has me and Septembre falling over onto one another and has the rest of the church turning heads towards our little foxhole seats in the corner. This man...he is so filled with God that you can't but feel the Holy dripping like water from his prayers. I stand during song service, clapping hands, swaying back and forth, and just watch him praise God up on the platform. He smiles as he sings, hums when he dosen't know the words, and I can see his lips tremble ferociously as he worships in tongues. His sermons send us running to the altar with conviction and revelation. His words stick to my ears, whispering themselves back to me even days later. He's shorter than he looks and as skinny as post. He sooty hair is balding on top and his eyes are dark and rooted. When he makes eye contact, you feel like holding your hands over your soul because you're positive that he's reading right through it. At the end of service the room gets tense as he walks slowly down the aisles passing out Words like parking tickets. It's only after he walks past and begins to talk to the person behind me that I finally exhale a breath; but then he's off again, scanning rows for familiar faces, and again I clench my hands over the maroon felt in front of me. Then finally he walks onto the platform and asks for Pastor to come as we praise God, and believe you me I do- for the fact that I didn't get a Word.
Jaime, my dearest Jaime Joe, tells me every revival, "I'm praying that you get a Word".
"Oh thats funny," I say, "cause I've been praying not to get one", smirking.
"Don't do that! You're completley counteracting my prayers!", she rants and all I can do is laugh.
Oh the idea of words just frightens me. I know they're not scary (maybe nerve racking), but not harmful. That they're only meant for the positive and not to embarress. That they can really help someone, giving direction or understanding, guidance and even just simple support. But I also know that a Word...is directly from God...and that scares me. The idea that the Almighty God, the Risen King, the one who Reigns over Heaven and the Earth, the Redeemer, the King of all Kings and the Lord of all Lords, would look at me, this lowly human, and speak to me personally, is enough to send me falling to my knees.
And then I think about all the people who have recieved words and have back sliden...oh the numbers are many. I don't understand it. God spoke to them! Directly to them! And they turned away...That breaks me heart. Just thinking about their conviction, their condemnation, their pain and suffering and lonliness and it all, makes me only hold tighter to the robes trailing the Lord. He's loving, so loving...loving enough to not give me a word (insert grin).
(Oh and I'm thinking about having themed days for my blogs seeing as I actually have a schedule now but I'm still in the processing of theme-ing them up. Thanks for being patient).