Spark of Thoughts

To think, to breathe, to walk, talk, sit, stand, shake hands, hold hands, kiss, open a car door, pick up a fork, write a symphony, play hopscotch, pick daisy's or lily's or tullips or pansies, learn to drive a pick-up truck, sing off key, fold laundry, yawn, stand at the top of the Empier State Building, cry, dance in a dimly lit living room, make something, paint something, write something, act on broadway, where soft socks, peak through bent metal blinds, swing feet from over an old wooden dock, sleep in the bathtub, attend a wedding, catch the bouquet, laugh softly, laugh loudly, hang clothes over closet doors, sleep on a water bed, send a letter, marry the boy you love.

A random list of things that are sometimes in my head, sometimes not, sometimes away on vacation, sometimes thought of while writing a blog, and sometimes in a picture of the person who makes your world spin a little faster everyday.

All About A 6'4 Towering Piece of Perfect.

I tried to duck away shyly and pass by these feelings without a second thought, but with the third and forth thoughts my feelings grew stronger and before long I didnt wanna duck away shyly anymore but rather stare head on into the dark brown eyes that stood before me.
Like the moon adorns the sun in the early morning, I catch myself peeking around corners and over church rows to adorn myself; but am stopped instantly by his already adorning eyes.
My hands shook last night, my foot tapped restlessly, and my stomach churned with anticipation, but just across from me in the white plastic chair, sat the most relaxed thing in the world. He'd fiddle with his hands, talk about the color of my toe nails, and tell me over and over again to Calm Down!, and eventually I did- till pastors door opened and he walked alone into the little white office and left me to wait even longer.
But isn't wasn't too long that he came back out, flushed but still calm. My heart leapt, my palms sweat, my words jumbled over his, tumbling tumbling tumbling, till we walked out and into the cool of the night and he told me- pastor approved! I screamed! then hit him! I don't know why i did, but I hit him, right on the arm...with my bible! Ha! I didn't know how to react, my emotions were going crazy. My lungs felt empty no matter how many breaths I'd take, and he just stood there, hands in his pockets, smiling at me. The moon shone a little brighter that night behind his smile, and my heart beat a little faster with every word he said.
Were waiting! And pastors okay with it! It's exactly the same thing we discussed last week, but this time pastor knows and he's okay with it! To think that pastor would be okay with a decision that we've made; how lucky are we?!
God is so good, he really is. He has helped us so much and we'd be nothing without him, but through him, we're not nothing, we're the possibility of something, and that's more than enough for me.

This man named Jacob Pacheco, he is surely a man after Gods own heart, and through God, he got mine too.
-Kaylee Johnson :]

If Love Was But A Love.

If love was but a love and a heart only a heart then a kiss would be nothing but a touch and touch nothing but a look. That look would be nothing but a glance and that glance would never be a stare. But if that glance fought adversity and grew into a feeling it could someday become a stare, and that stare could become a talk and that talk could become a conversation. Conversations would then bud a friendship and that friendship would blossom into adoration and before long, between the glance and a feeling, would come a love. Deeply hidden in a whisper, that love would mold into a ring and that ring would bring along a kiss and a touch and those hearts that were only hearts, would be one. Completely and irrevocably one, together, hand in hand, whisper in whisper, beat in beat, till the touch becomes cold, and the hearts stand still, the whisper not even a breath and that love could be found in the rings on the hands of the ones whose love was only but a love.

Kaylee's been a little distracted latley...can you tell?

Little Drummer Girl.

So kaylee can now say she is officially a drummer! With two lessons tucked under her belt she is confident this is where she wants to be; behind the dusty black and silver and gold drum set, seated on the small wooden throne banging her little heart out.
It was like nothing I've ever done and according to my brilliant teachers, I did...great! I was so nervous leading up to it, poor Jacob had to hear me rant on and on for weeks about how unsure I was but then sitting there, two warn-out drum sticks in hand, my mind all fell into place and I knew I wanted to do this. I learned a simple beat, following Jacob as he moved empty hands and peddleless feet from across the drums; "one two three" I'd count off, then miss a beat, "oh wait, start over, okay, one two three" and before long I could keep a beat, do a roll, add a beat, and even make a transfer without hitting that stupid stupid snare! (you can see where I had some issue).
Watching Grandma Marlane behind the drums made the whole day worth while though, "no no no" she insisted but watching as me and Jacob switched off playing, she couldn't resist and jumped right in. It was the most natural thing I had ever seen her do, balancing the sticks between her thumb and palm, leading the drums into a war with sound; and believe me, she won, taking down sounds army with the most beautiful rhythm and motion one has ever seen or heard. I loved sitting on that throne, a princess seated behind her royal court. It was something I can't wait to do over and over again.
Just as we finished practice, tossing my sticks back into the pile on the floor, grandma turned to me and said "you are officially my adopted granddaughter" and that's when learning how to play drums gained a whole new meaning.

I think that I think about stuff too often. I think about too much, too much of the time. I think of things while I should be thinking of others and think when I shouldn't be thinking at all. I over think too many areas of my life and think too little of others.
I think of Jesus, the God in the flesh, the Lord, the Alpha and Omega, and remind myself that he too is thinking of me, contending for me, praying for me as Aly reminded me. God does not wish failure for me, does not hold me back from success without good cause, does not think too little of me, but is rather wanting the world for me. For me, he thinks highly. For me he thinks fondly. For me he thinks, and his thoughts alone are enough to get me through a long sleepless night, a long slumbersome day, or one long good morning!
Good morning!
-Toby K.

Post-Noc Shift.

My eyes feel heavy as if cinder blocks sit along my eye brows, and my skin feels thick as if laid with bags of moss, but the mornings air reminds my lungs how much they love the taste of honeysuckle and cherry-blossom. Long leafy tree-branches reach out over the roads, shadowing the sun that has now begun to rise. My feet clap against the pavement, clic clic clic, my car keys clang between my fingers, and my hair, still damp and scented of tea-tree oil, hangs over my shoulders brushing my neck as I walk. It is still too early to here the hum of bustling cars or the laughter from kids marching in groups of threes or fours along yellow signed school zones; it is still too early to go to the store for milk or pick and poke and prod fresh produce at the morning market; too early to mow the lawn or vacuum the floors, too early to pick up a coffee or get my hair dyed. But the clock lands on the six and as I walk across the cold pavent, clic clic clic, I listen out as the bird chirps' fill the fog and know for someone this day has only begun.

Life As I Know It.

     My stuff is being sorted into boxes, those boxes are being sorted into leave or keep piles, those boxes that say keep are my life as I know it. This room, it's walls are becoming bare and white again. My cat walks in wide eyed as he stares at the different picture this room now paints. He paws at the corners of the cardboard and sniffs the floor where things once sat.
     My parents are losing a daughter, sooner than expected. This was never their plan, this was never mine, but here it is. It is here in these boxes, it is here in the little brown house with the little white swing, it is here in the rain outside my window, in the breaking of my heart. I often wonder if I made the wrong choice, if I should of listened to my sister, if I should of gone to college, if I should of just stayed here in my comfort...but it's done, the decisions made, the key has been passed into my palm and in a few short days this will be the end of life as I know it, and my new life will begin.
  Tonight was the first time I realized that, and tonight was the first time I cried about it.
-Toby K.